I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
