I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
