I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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