if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
