My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
