Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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