No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
