I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
