How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
BRING THE BAGELS
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
