we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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