how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
