remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize