I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
