i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize