I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
