Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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