The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
