i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
