i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
