It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
