Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
