my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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