i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
