I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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