their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
