When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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