Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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