Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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