: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
