Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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