While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
