after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
