so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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