I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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