For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
