i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
