So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
