Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
