I feel like abortions should bother me more
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
