but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
