Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
