whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
