I need help removing her.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
