so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
