And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
