im having a threesome with these popsicles
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize