i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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