was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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