My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
