Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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