she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She's the barista slut.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
