Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
