Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
