Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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