Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We got so high we made milksteak
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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