a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
