i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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