Me. At least after what I've been through.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Did I show you my penis last night?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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