3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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